All he wants to do is dance?

There’s a haze of smoke all around. It’s swirling all around and for a second you'd think that this was a Whitesnake video. As the smoke slowly dissipates, it becomes clear that we’re at a study group with some random college kids. The usual conglomeration of study partners are all studying together. They are sitting around in a circle on the floor of someone’s dorm room, but the books cracked open are strewn around them. What this cram sesh is really about are the big fat doobies being passed around.

Student 1 - So hey, did you hear about the guy that showed up at the rally tonight?

The girl he's passing the joint to smiles as she takes a drag, the cherry lighting up.

Girl student 1 - That was so crazy man, he just, like, dropped in out of the rafters and started dancing with the cheerleaders.

A confused stare, faraway and glassy, from another boy, he in a knit Rastafarian hat. He's possibly too bombed to even comprehend any of this. He's laying on his side, textbook forgotten in his hands.

Student 2 - What- what guy is this?

Girl student - You didn't know? The Green Man.

Scene switches to documentary, or reality-style "interview facetime", as the girl student, with a little info graphic giving her name as Tianna Lewis, looking contemplatively off-screen.

Tianna - How do you describe the Green Man? He's crazy, man. Nobody's ever heard him talk, he just showed up on campus during a basketball game and started busting a move.

Stock documentary footage of a man in a bright neon green jumpsuit on the front row with the cheerleaders at a basketball game, doing backflips and moonwalking in an over-the-top manner. And then, it cuts to one of the boys in the study session, the black boy with his hair spiked up in a fro. The info card on him giving his name as Kamau Ali Jefferson-Thyne.

Kamau - This brother here, right? Nobody knows his deal. He could be anybody. But me, I've seen him without his mask, and I know exactly who he is, he's -

The documentary quickly cuts to the white boy with the tie-dyed shirt and Rasta hat, looking stoned and unsure of where he's at. The info card gives his name as Pete Wicezwski.

Pete - So... I don't get it... he's a green man and he dances?

Scene cuts to documentary style footage of a camera crew spotting the Green Man at a taco truck stuffing his face, the bottom of his mask pulled up. It can't be made out but he seems to mouth "Oh shit" and takes off running quickly. The camera crew chases after him, and then it cuts back to interview style, with an older, mustachioed man, info card Dr. Phillip Sondransen, athletic director at Bard College.

Dr Phillip - I don't know who he is, but he's not a mascot, he's not a student, he doesn't even buy tickets for the games, he's disruptive and all he does is -

Cut to Tianna.

Tianna - So who is the Green Man? Well if you look on the internet, this whole thing has been popping up at sporting events sweeping across the midwest for a while now. Some people think it's a hoax, but I have a different theory. What if it's not just one man? What if there's a legion of Green Men? And this is just some big marketing stunt? Hey, I'm taking marketing, -bleep- you, man!

Cut to Kamau, looking bemused.

Kamau - Nah man, this Green Man is one cat and he's doing this for a reason. I dunno why. Maybe he's hit a point in his life like some... midlife crisis or some shit. Maybe he really is a goofy mothaf -bleep- and this is just him playing some game. I'm tryna tell you though. It's one guy, and he's just -bleep-ing around with all our heads.

Cut to Dr. Phillip, looking flustered.

Dr. Phillip - What does he get out of this? It makes no sense.

Cut to Peter, looking... stoned.

Pete - Maybe... maybe there's no sense or order in this, man. Maybe the Green Man is just riding a wave of pure enlightenment, man. Maybe he's trying to show us to cast our fears aside and just live in the moment. Just dance, man.

Cut back to grainy camera footage, the dorm room where all three of them are sleepy, nodding off, nickel bags strewn all around them as they talk, in a dazed, blue-skying voice.

Tianna - I heard he fights crime.

Pete snickers.

Peter - What? You're crazy man.

Tianna - No, hand to god, I swear I heard it from Tiffany in my sociology class. She was going to this frat party, right? And Chad Loewen gave her a cup of ale, well she said that she started getting light-headed really early, right?

Kamau - Maaan, you ain't never supposed to drink out no cup at a frat party.

Pete - Right? One time I woke up naked duct taped to a park bench. And my asshole hurt, for some reason...

Tianna - ...Anyway, Chad and some of the Phi Delta guys took her out to the roundabout and they were getting ready to do something really nasty to her. But what do you know, all of a sudden, a silent, green figure comes out of the bushes like a- a jungle cat and pounces, bam, bam bam! Knocking them all out!

Kamau - Man, get the fuck out of here, have you seen that guy? He's like 5'10.

Pete - Really? Dude I saw was like 6'40.

Kamau - That ain't a height you ignorant cracker.

Tianna - I'm serious though, he took them all down. Like he was a professional fighter or something.

Kamau - Baby girl, you ain't gonna believe the news I'm gonna drop on you. See, I know who he is, he's-

Cut back to the sound stage where the interviews are going on, and Alec Myers, looking ill at ease in the uncomfortable chair, his info card reading "TWF interviewer," fidgets with his tie.

Alec - The Green Man. Yes, he's a special case. He showed up on our doorstep with this entire marketing gimmick mapped out, the masks, the requirements for dance music, and, I'll be honest, nobody took him seriously. But, umm... word out of the training camp was very promising.

Cut to stock documentary footage of the Green Man wrestling. He kicks a rookie in the face and then hits a DDT, then as he gets to his feet, he pops and locks it like it ain't nobody's business.

Alec - To be honest, many of the higher-ups still aren't sure what to make of him, if he's new to the sport or if he's somebody well established and reknowned under the mask, we'd never know. It could be a joke, or some elaborate ruse. The only things we do know is that he sought us out... and all he wants to do is dance.

Cut to the documentary footage of the training camp, as the Green Man is exiting the ring. The camera man comes towards him, as if to get a word with him, but the Green Man gets wary the closer he gets, until he breaks and runs once again. However, this time, someone blocks him in. He hangs his head in an almost comical pantomime of defeat.

Cut to the interview stage, which is darker now than it was in the previous sit-down documentary-style interviews. The Green Man sits in the darkness, his face obscured by it. When he speaks his voice is scrambled by a digitized coder that makes him sound like somebody being protected from the mob.

Green Man - I have given you my terms for speaking. I will break my silence when it amuses me or when I have something to say. I will not give hints to my identity until I'm ready to. It's not about my identity. Who I am is not important. It's what I want to do. I lived a violent life once. My life was stress, strife, pain and angst. I walked away from it willingly and sought to go for something lighter. I wanted to dance.

In the dark, his face obscured, it's hard to tell if he's being disingenuous.

Green Man - But some things I didn't want to walk away from because they are ingrained on me. And in some things, I see that there are many avenues that could benefit from my influence. That could do with some of my newfound motivation to bring something different to the table instead of dried, trite cliches. I lived those cliches myself, ran with others that engaged thehm in others, and now it's disheartening to see new generations retreading some of them. I turned my attention from providing entertainment, to providing a different stripe to the bland, colorless proceedings in this new federation, the TWF, and it's uninspired first class, headed by boring also-rans such as Teague Neiland and Jake Jester and spearheaded by aging, lackluster philosophers like Downfall and Warpath. They're the type that's bled all the color out of this business I once called my only home. But now, I bring bright swathes of color whereever I go, bright, imaginitive, innovative color. And I'm more than willing to share that in spades with those same uninspired miscreants. The first one has already said his piece on me, and shown the world for what a simple-minded child he is.

Jake Jester, accused ME of being unoriginal. I'll admit, other men have donned Green Man costumes at sporting games. But he seems content to dismiss me as just an avid sports fan that gets one particular team pumped up. No, my dear child, but I'll be happy to educate you on how limited your perspective is. To say that I'm just a man dancing in a costume for a losing sporting team and laughing about the "originality" of that while you yourself parade around claiming every single trapping of a villain that's been adapted seventeen ways to Sunday in every media you can name... tell me Jake which seems to be less original? Me, for putting on a featureless green costume that can mean anything or symbolize anything I want it to, or you, for trying your hardest to ape the Clown Prince of Crime? And I really want this to stick with you, you're not even doing it well. You can talk about originality all you want... but the amount of men who have tried putting on white facepaint and a purple costume since Heath Ledger's performance in the Dark Knight is astronomically higher than the amount of people who have tried to do what I'm doing. I bring something new and whimsical. All you are is just cliched slasher "hardcore" bulls-bleep-. It is a little sad that I'm put up against you and yet you expect me to be the punchline in this situation. You're a joke. Not the joker, just a joke. Your entire premise doesn't even seem like one with any mileage, which makes me think that, while I'm still dancing away and entertaining the masses with my sick moves... you'll be gone, probably moonwalking out that door once you've seen just how low on the totem pole you're going to be. You're not a sick genius. You're not a twisted technical mastermind. You're a boy in an ill-fitting costume. Whereas I am a man who has donned a skin that reflects my desire for something different, and to bring something new. There's nothing new with you. Move along.

Cut to Alec, in the studio, looking pensive.

Alec - One thing's for sure about the Green Man... we may never see his face, but we are sure to get many surprises from him.

Cut to Pete, still sitting in the interview chair, but this time giggling as he has a roach clip with a doobie in it. Smoke wafts around his face.

Pete - What if he's really got tits under there?

Tianna - What is he really trying to tell us?

Dr. Phillip - What kind of weirdo even does something like this, I mean is he on drugs?!

Cut back to the dorm room, with all the kids studying, still sitting around. Peter is looking at Kamau incredulously, as he's just had some serious knowledge dropped on him that's blown his stoned mind. He looks at the girl, then at a fixed point in space and time.

Pete - So this guy was a wrestler? Like... was he any good?

Kamau - I mean, yeah, he was alright.